Cynthia Zhang
August 13, 2019
Hesch
纽约和中国东部沿海
炖上了鸡，烤上了三文鱼，吃过了虾酱豆腐。本想重拾早前的温和心态修改为一个半月前匆匆离世的Hesch写的祭文，却被为利奇马风暴围困在中国东海岸的家人担心不已。终于还是再次拿起电话拨通了国内老家。线上的长聊让我看到了风暴肆虐后的惨景，却也终于为家人的安全放下心来。
鸡好了，三文鱼很香。让我想起三年前在纽约度过的圣诞。在Barbara家里，Hesch端坐在饭桌旁，乐呵呵地等着圣诞大餐。两张拼在一起的餐桌上铺着餐布。Barbara做的豆豉鱼色香味俱全，远胜我从中国城餐馆买的中式海鲜，让我讶异。面对满桌子的菜，Marcia
评论说可能吃不了。一番推杯换盏，一桌的菜已经被我们四人风卷残云般消灭尽净。席间的交谈天上地下，中国美国，犹太人和中国城的圣诞约会，随意惬意。圣诞对在座的所有人都是客座节日，却因着相聚而温暖人心。许多的家人都远在天涯，我却坚信他们都会为我在一个特殊冬日里的幸福心生感念。
几天前再访纽约是暴雨消退后的八月初。纽约熙熙攘攘的人群很有特色。一是着黑衣者比比皆是。男士黑色西装，女士黑色裙衫。二是犹太人很多，时常会看到头心顶隔天小黑帽的大胡子。
当我在地铁、商场人群聚集的地方看到行色匆匆的老人、壮年、青年和孩子时，常常会想起一个记不清来处的比喻：每个人都背着一个生命轮，它的亮度即是我们生命力的强度。我在想每个人的生命轮的亮度也许是他灵魂的光。当Hesch微笑着再三查证我的行程无误，他的生命轮应该是煜煜生辉的吧。
纽约和中国东海岸，愿风暴过后都是夏末秋初的清丽和祥和。
Hesch
New
York City and China’s East Coast
After
putting a chicken in a stew pot and placing some salmon fish on the baking
rack, I finished eating my shrimp jam sautéed tofu. I decided a mild mood was
appropriate for revising a eulogy for Hesch who passed away a month and half
ago. But I could not manage to bring back that cool mindset. Typhoon Lekima had
had trapped my family on the east coast in China. When I finally got to have a
long talk on the phone with my family who showed me the damage done by Lekima,
I felt the burden of worrying for their lives was off my shoulders.
The
chicken stew was ready and the salmon was tasty. They brought back the
Christmas eve I had spent in New York City in Barbara’s apartment with Barbara,
Hesch, and Marcia three years before. With a grin, Hesch sat at the Christmas
dinner table covered by a nice table cloth, waiting. The fish with black bean
dace made by Barbara looked nice, smelled good, and was tasty. I could not
believe her cooking was so much more impressive than the seafood I bought from
some restaurants in Chinatown. Marcia worried the dishes all over the dinner
table comprised actually of two tables were too much for the four of us. But
the red wine and the warm talk witnessed fast consumption of all food. Oh, the
conversation was lovely and all inclusive: China and the U.S., Jewish people
and Chinatown’s Christmas eve date… On a
Christmas that was a courtesy holiday for all of us, I was grateful for the
happiness I felt. And I firmly believed all our family far away from us were
happy for me because of this special winter day.
When
I revisited New York City a few days ago, a summer storm just subsided. Early
August saw busy crowds everywhere. It seemed to me there were people in black
all over: men in black suits, and women in black dresses and shirts. It also
seemed to me there were Jewish people in every corner: bearded men with Jewish
kippahs.
When I
saw seniors, middle-aged people, young people, and children in subway stations
and stores, I often recalled a statement from a source I could not remember:
everyone has a wheel of light on his/her back showing the strength of their
lives. Maybe, I thought, that wheel was the reflection of a person’s soul. When
Hesch checked thrice on my schedule for my safety, his wheel of light must be
like that of a jewel.
I
pray for a crisp and auspicious day when the late summer met with the early
fall, in New York City and China’s east coast.
