金戒指和玉挂

          也许是前几天提起，这两天一直在想着姥姥小时候给我的一个许诺：“等你长大了，我给你一个金戒指。”

          我一天天、一年年长大，接受教育、工作。生活一天天、一年年过去，始终没收到姥姥的金戒指。也许她会在某个纪念日给我？某个节日？某个场合？没有还是没有。

          我实在等不下去了，就买了一对玉佛、玉观音送给姥姥、姥爷各自挂在脖子上。他们戴着玉佛、玉观音十几年一直到去世。

          去年十月份听一位加拿大的土著画家讲他的画。他的女儿一直趴在他旁边的地上看电脑。画家很自豪他可以谋得生计养家糊口，感叹养一个孩子很贵。

          顺着这条线想下去，小时候长住姥姥家大概也花销不菲。我又喜欢带街坊邻居小孩来姥姥家玩，很大方地把姥姥的东西送给他们。姥姥则仰起脸对站在土炕上的我很是敬仰：“俺家闺女真仁义。”如此下来，也只有金戒指可以支持这种大方了。

Gold Ring and Jade Necklaces

          A promise Grandmother made in my childhood kept coming back to me recently, “I’ll give you a gold ring when you grow up.” I remembered it probably because I talked about grandma a few days ago.

           I went to school, and then got employed. But Grandma seemed to have forgotten the promise of a gold ring. I counted days and then years, wishing she could hand the ring to me. On an anniversary maybe? Or a festival or special occasion? Still there was no ring.

          My patience ran out. I bought necklaces with jade buddha and bodhisattva pendants for my grandparents instead. They kept the jade necklaces on for over a decade till they passed away.  

          I went to listen to a Canadian indigenous artist’s talk on his paintings last October. His daughter watched her tablet by his side on the floor while he lectured. The painter was content he could make a living with art, because life was costly, particularly kids.

         I followed the train of thought and recalled my long-term stays with my grandparents when I was young. Those stays must have been hard to afford. And I enjoyed inviting my friends over to my Grandma’s house and gifting them with Grandma’ belongings. Grandma would look up at me as I stood on the brick and dirt bed with deep admiration, “How generous my girl is!” Generosity that could only be supported by a gold ring then.