三月份是母亲和外祖母的三周年祭，虽然时间紧迫，还是停下了脚步。美国的疫情明显好转，然而很多人失去了亲人，有时短时间内好几位，我可以想见他们生活的困境。不止美国，各地都有。希望我的哀思能够分担他们的忧伤。        

          外祖母和母亲的共同点是无私，对社会如此，对家人也是一样。外祖母年轻时经历了战争年代，心胸很开阔。母亲年轻时致力于为他人奉献，老年仍乐此不疲。我去年写过外祖母的育儿理念，今年就写写母亲。

          母亲是我的第一个英语老师，为了我能够努力学习，还请了其他同学跟我一起学习。我记得跟小伙伴一起玩耍的快乐，也记得成绩落在小伙伴之后的尴尬。最怕母亲说，“咱们聊聊。”母亲轻声细语的讲道理常常让我只好低头认错，再努力。当然有时我从一个孩童的角度并不同意母亲的教导，母亲也会耐心地听我反驳矫正自己的信息反馈。我知道母亲在学生中的威信，听说过学生们一听张校长来了，马上好好表现。我也知道母亲为了管理学生读了很多心理书籍，做行政的同时也并没有放下教学。

          我成年后母亲的身体状况并不好，我与母亲仅有的一次争吵让我体会到她的脆弱，对她心生怜爱。但是母亲却仍然身体力行为后代立榜样。我之前提到王立礼老师把我带进了环保的大门，母亲也是很热情地支持王老师的提议。有一天跟母亲步行到居住小区外新建的观鱼池，几条刚放养的金鱼活泼泼地在池里游走。一个十几岁的小男孩突然伸手开始抓鱼。母亲疾步上前阻止，并训斥了他。我有些担心母亲，也对她油然而生敬爱。

          当我看着又生绿意的山峦、雪野上成群的麋鹿时感到更多的是希望：希望来年更好，希望灾难性极寒天气不再来访，希望我没有让外祖母和母亲失望。借用一位朋友的话：如果有不如意那只是暂时的，一切最终都会好的。

          This March marked the third anniversary since my mother and grandmother passed away. I still decided to pause to memorialize them when I was pressed so much by time. The pandemic in the U.S. had eased. Yet so many people in the U.S. and around the world had lost their loved ones, sometimes several ones at short intervals. I hope my memory of mother and grandmother could help them somehow, even just a little when their lives were turned upside down.

          Mother and grandmother were both selfless, dedicated to the wellbeing of the society and family. Grandmother experienced wars when she was young and thus had a huge heart. Mother was devoted to working for others when she was young and never changed her heart on that in elderly years. Since I wrote about grandmother’s educational motto last year, I would like to record mother’s this year. 

          Mother was my first English teacher. She invited my friends to learn English with me in her extracurricular class. I still remember vividly the joy playing with my friends as well as the embarrassment I felt lagging behind them in the English class. I dreaded the most to hear mother say, “Let’s talk.” Mother’s soft spoken voice laying out my problems often forced me to acknowledge her point and work harder. Sometimes I would argue with her from a child’s perspective. Mother was always patient to listen to me and corrected accordingly her information about me and feedback on my situations. I learned about mother’s reputation among students. Students would begin to behave when they knew the vice principal Madam Zhang was around. I knew mother read many adolescent psychology books for her administrative work while kept her teaching.        

          In my adulthood, mother’s health had always been poor. The only quarrel between us gave me the opportunity to understand her vulnerability and feel for her. But mother had never failed to be my role model. I mentioned earlier Professor Lili Wang introduced me to environmental protection cause which mother echoed strong support for. I remember the day when I walked with mother to a newly built fish pond outside our residential neighborhood. A few gold fish were briskly swimming in the pond. Suddenly a teenage boy began to grab the fish. Mother rushed to stop him and lectured him the importance of environmental protection. I was a little worried about mother but felt tremendous respect for her.  

          In this early spring, a new layer of greenness began to cover the mountains and many elks ate hay comfortably over the snowy hills. I felt more hopes for the coming year than ever. I also hoped the disastrous freeze would never visit again and mother and grandmother were smiling on my efforts after their models. As a friend said, “All’s well that ends well. If it is not well, it is not the end.”